New Year Gift : A Bunch of Jokes

all from IC 370 Joke corner.

A Japanese man was boasting about how his country had such advanced medical technology. He said, "We take the lungs out of a man, perform an operation, put the lungs back in, and in 4 weeks, the man is looking for work."

An Englishman said, "We are far more advanced than you. We can take the heart out of a man, perform surgery and have him ready for work in just 3 weeks."

The Irishman says, "That's nothing; we can take a kidney out of a man, put into another man's body and have them looking for work in 2 weeks."

The American says, "Well hell, that's nothin'. We had an idiot taken out of Texas, put in the Whitehouse and now half the country is lookin' for work!

- J@Y

*************************************************

God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was explaining to his subordinates "Look everything should be in balance.

For example, after every 10 deer there should be a lion.

Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States.I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension..

And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature.But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes.

And here is South America. I have given them lots of forests. But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would have to cut off the forests...

So you see fellows, everything should be in balance.

One of the angels asked....

"God, what is this extremely beautiful country here?"


God said...... "Ahah...that is the crown piece of all.

" INDIA"

My most precious creation. It has understanding and friendly People. Sparkling streams and serene mountains. culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live. Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold.....

The angel was quite surprised:

"But god you said everything should be in balance."

God replied --



:

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

:

Look at the neighbours I gave them."

*********************************************
A clever politician will tell u what will happen today tomorrow a month later or a year from now...
And later on he will explain why it didnt happen.A clever politician will tell u what will happen today tomorrow a month later or a year from now...
And later on he will explain why it didnt happen.
************************************************
"to quit smokin is absolutely easy....I left it 154 times"