Thursday, September 17, 2009

The Golden Rule in Social Life

The best thing about being a kid is that you can be frank in your opinions, blurt anything out to anyone and live a carefree life. But the moment you break out of the childhood shell, you gather a lot of cobwebs.
Then you can no longer talk like you talked when you were a kid. You will have to consider and reconsider every word before you let it out. You will have to think twice before you talk.

And since I learned it the hard way, I believe I'm experienced enough to share that golden rule of social life and communication.

And that most unwelcome, most painful, most disgusting rule of life which everyone should remember before even thinking about talking is... [with bated breath]
...that "No two persons think exactly alike"

A bit familiar?
Ever thought something and heard the exact opposite thought from someone else? Ever had a debate where people never seem to understand your way of thinking? Ever tried to appreciate someone and ended up gaining hatred? Ever tried to convince somebody and failed miserably?

Yeah, you know what I'm speaking about.
The reason why there are more debates in the world than constructive criticism, the reason why people are always in two sides on every topic of discussion, the reason heaven is not situated on earth, the reason for every extra word spoken...

For if everyone were thinking alike there would be no doubt, no question, no answer, no debate, no question of who is right, no conflict, no war. Completely calm, quiet.

No. The world has been designed for mutations and differences. Evolution is entirely dependent on differences. Should there be the fittest, there will also be the feeblest. And so, biologically, we are designed to think different, so that even if some of us do things that may be dangerous for the survival of life, others think different.

Of course our parents or friends may think like us (though not exactly alike in all cases), but we must remember that our parents are the ones who define most of our thoughts, and that we find similar minded people first and friends next.

Now leave that aside. Let us concentrate on how knowing this fact can save you out of a lot of trouble.

I have had many occasions in life which I would very fondly like to undo, but alas! there is no Ctrl+Z shortcut for that in real life. I had made a controversial speech in my school about my life there, which I intended to be a joke packed thriller. But when it was delivered it slapped many people blunt on their faces. What happened here? What I thought to be harmless, where actually venom packed fangs (according to people who thought thus)

Then there is a whole bunch of marriages where I tried to crack jokes to people whom I scarcely know (supposedly my relatives) and most of them backfired as insults and stupidity because some people think giving respect is the only way somebody younger than them can acknowledge their presence. (You know me, I just don't like these adults being serious, life is supposed to be enjoyed)

And what did I learn?
Nobody thinks alike. So, though you are absolutely right when you talk with yourself, you range everything from exactly true to pure blasphemy. And what does that mean? If you don't want yourself to be misheard, you'd either speak nothing, or don't be frank in front of people whom you don't know.

When your honest opinion is sought, most probably your positive comments are what is being expected. So, if you don't have something good to tell, you'd rather not let it out, unless you know the other person very well and are sure that they won't take it personally.
And when you are speaking to a crowd, never talk about a person. If at all you are, don't talk anything (i said anything) about negatives.

Come on, now tell me your frankest opinions about this post.

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Anonymous said...

Your experience is not isolate , it happened to me more than once and I believe,other readers would also agree with me.
Many a time I asked this qn to myself, 'why on earth i wanted to blurt it out'.
Meaning to say, this was a very relevant post..
Yeah..Let's see if it works out!!
But yaar, one imp thing is that we must be careful not to compromise our integrity while attempting to speak pleasingly.
Have a nice day..

Ayesha Parveen said...

Nice one :) Thanks.

Nipun said...

yes its cant blurt out something when you are old.the right to Blurt out decreases with age .its inversly proportional to age.

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