Sunday, September 26, 2010

Talking About Sex

I was first taught about sex neither by my parents nor by my teachers.
The first time I really learned how babies are made was when I saw a porn movie when I was 14. Yeah, even before the advent of Internet.

And till today my parents haven't talked to me directly about sex either. (Though my dad has mentioned several times that it can be an addiction) And mind you, next year I'm 18.

I have had the chance to learn in two schools. But still, none of the 50 or more teachers who've taught me have ever talked about sex. Not even my biology teacher.
Of course the lesson "Reproduction in Human Beings" was much anticipated. But it went away like over-hyped bollywood movies do, without an active discussion. (There were muffled laughs from the corners to welcome a hypocritical lecture)

And even my beloved English teachers who talk about everything on this earth have invariably failed me. Somehow I gathered the courage to tell my teacher that we watched porn (in a relevant context) but she just responded "that's bad" in a surprised manner and walked away. She talked about drugs the next minute. But she wouldn't talk about this drug. I mean, if she had a point, she'd rather make it clear.

By that afternoon the news spread and I was receiving mixed responses from my schoolmates - applauses and questioning looks. As if I had done something. Heroic or great. Obscene or indecent.
Whereas I was standing amongst them, confused. Wondering as to what was so special about the topic I put in. Nobody asked me anything when I told my English teacher about the way I play football, or the way I love my father.

What are these adults shying away from?
Parents and teachers.

Should generation gap be a problem?
Well, it is not. Because though friends talk a bit about sex, they don't actually 'openly' talk.
The little that friends know about each others' problems is the little that comes after multi-filtering through cultural sieves.
SEX???!!! Taboo.

You don't have to worry about me. You don't have to worry about those teens who luckily fall into good company. But there are others who aren't so lucky. They do not get a chance to know anything until they are in a situation where knowing does not matter.

It so happens in the seemingly open but stringently closed society that we are born into.

Maybe you are thinking that your not talking about it makes us less curious.
You are of course wrong.
Not knowing only adds to the curiosity.
And curiosity kills the cat.

Talking about sex only reduces the risks.
It is not talking that multiplies the risk.

But there is no talking. There is only flinching.
The 3 letter word is never used. (Though the 4 letter word is always used)

Adolescence Education Programs were promised.
Well, we never thought any would ever be delivered.
For, who's to deliver it other than you?

Maybe you could answer. What is so special about sex that makes it a topic worth not discussing?

If you're gonna tell me that our culture prohibits us from talking about sex, tell that to the 1 million HIV/AIDS patients in the age group 15-29 from India. And mind you, that data is three years old.

And till you find me a solid reason not to talk about sex, I will keep on using the word loudly and in public.

A virgin.

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Harry said...

Haha, once in my teen years I was watching a program on Discovery channel and owing to its 'explicitish' language, my father was upset. I told him such programs are good as they impart knowledge about our bodies and the 'necessary' things, my father was furious and told me - such knowledge is not required to be 'taught' and we all learn 'such' things 'ourselves' at 'appropriate' time :)
I think there is a bitter truth in his thinking, we do 'learn' all these things 'ourselves' but many of us learn it the 'hard' way.
I apologize for the strong words but I think we Indians are more a hypocrite species.

Akshay S Dinesh said...

Exactly what happens.
How do we just 'know'
As if we're monkeys who're born to have sex and need not be taught

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