Year: 2010

  • Disability Matters Nothing to Human Spirit

    Aimee Mullins was born with fibular hemimelia (missing fibula bones) and, as a result, had both of her legs amputated below the knee when she was a year old.
    33 years later, today, she is an athlete, actress, and fashion model best known for her collegiate-level athletic accomplishment.
    People around the world love her not out of sympathy, but because of the hope that she breathes in to anyone who think they have a bleak future.

    Just hear what she has to say about her 12 pairs of legs.

    I was speaking to a group of about 300 kids, ages six to eight, at a children’s museum, and I brought with me a bag full of legs, similar to the kinds of things you see up here, and had them laid out on a table, for the kids.  And, from my experience, you know, kids are naturally curious about what they don’t know, or don’t understand,  or what is foreign to them. They only learn to be frightened of those differences  when an adult influences them to behave that way, and maybe censors that natural curiosity,  or you know, reins in the question-asking  in the hopes of them being polite little kids.  So, I just pictured a first grade teacher out in the lobby  with these unruly kids, saying, “Now, whatever you do,  don’t stare at her legs.”

    But, of course, that’s the point. That’s why I was there, I wanted to invite them to look and explore. So I made a deal with the adults that the kids could come in, without any adults, for two minutes, on their own. The doors open, the kids descend on this table of legs, and they are poking and prodding, and they’re wiggling toes, and they’re trying to put their full weight on the sprinting leg to see what happens with that. And I said, “Kids, really quickly — I woke up this morning, I decided I wanted to be able to jump over a house — nothing too big, two or three stories — but, if you could think of any animal, any superhero, any cartoon character, anything you can dream up right now, what kind of legs would you build me?”

    And immediately a voice shouted, “Kangaroo!” “No, no, no! Should be a frog!” “No. It should be Go Go Gadget!” “No, no, no! It should be The Incredibles.” And other things that I don’t — aren’t familiar with. And then, one eight-year-old said, “Hey, why wouldn’t you want to fly too?” And the whole room, including me, was like, “Yeah.” (Laughter) And just like that, I went from being a woman that these kids would have been trained to see as “disabled” to somebody that had potential that their bodies didn’t have yet. Somebody that might even be super-abled. Interesting.

    Yes, she thought of being disabled as being super-abled.

    And interestingly, from an identity standpoint,  what does it mean to have a disability? I mean, people — Pamela Anderson has more prosthetic in her body than I do. Nobody calls her disabled.

     Today, I have over a dozen pair of prosthetic legs that various people have made for me, and with them I have different negotiations of the terrain under my feet.  And I can change my height — I have a variable of five different heights.

    She was confident about herself. And she believed

    Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It’s much sexier than any body part.

    May be that is why she appeared in 5 movies, and was featured in 3 books.

    Now here is the transcript of her TED talk Aimee Mullins: The opportunity of adversity 

    I’d like to share with you a discovery that I made a few months ago while writing an article for Italian Wired. I always keep my thesaurus handy whenever I’m writing anything, but I’d already finished editing the piece, and I realized that I had never once in my life looked up the word “disabled” to see what I’d find.

    Let me read you the entry. “Disabled,” adjective: “crippled, helpless, useless, wrecked, stalled, maimed, wounded, mangled, lame, mutilated, rundown, worn-out, weakened, impotent, castrated, paralyzed, handicapped, senile, decrepit, laid-up, done-up, done-for, done-in cracked-up, counted-out; see also hurt, useless and weak. Antonyms, healthy, strong, capable.” I was reading this list out loud to a friend and at first was laughing, it was so ludicrous, but I just I’d just gotten past mangled, and my voice broke, and I had to stop and collect myself from the emotional shock and impact that the assault from these words unleashed.

    You know, of course this is my raggedy old thesaurus. I’m thinking this must be an ancient print date, right. But, in fact, the print date was the early 1980’s, when I would have been starting primary school and forming an understanding of myself outside the family unit and as related to the other kids and the world around me. And, needless to say, thank God I wasn’t using a thesaurus back then. I mean, from this entry, it would seem that I was born into a world that perceived someone like me to have nothing positive whatsoever going for them, when, in fact, today I’m celebrated for the opportunities and adventures my life has procured.

    So, I immediately went to look up the 2009 online edition, expecting to find a revision worth noting. Here’s the updated version of this entry. Unfortunately, it’s not much better. I find the last two words under “Near Antonyms” particularly unsettling, “whole” and “wholesome.”

    So, it’s not just about the words. It’s what we believe about people when we name them with these words. It’s about the values behind the words, and how we construct those values. Our language affects our thinking and how we view the world and how we view other people. In fact, many ancient societies, including the Greeks and the Romans, believed that to utter a curse verbally was so powerful, because to say the thing out loud brought it into existence. So, what reality do we want to call into existence, a person who is limited, or a person who’s empowered? By casually doing something as simple as naming a person, a child, we might be putting lids and casting shadows on their power. Wouldn’t we want to open doors for them instead?

    One such person, who opened doors for me, was my childhood doctor at the A.I. Dupont Institute in Wilmington, Delaware. His name is Dr. Pizzutillo. Italian American, whose name, apparently, was too difficult for most Americans to pronounce, so he went by Dr. P. And Dr. P always wore really colorful bow ties and had the very perfect disposition to work with children.

    I loved almost everything about my time spent at this hospital, with the exception of my physical therapy sessions. I had to do what seemed like innumerable repetitions of exercises with these thick, elastic bands — different colors — you know, to help build up my leg muscles. And I hated these bands more than anything. I hated them, had names for them. I hated them. And, you know, I was already bargaining, as a five year-old child, with Dr. P to try to get out of doing these exercises, unsuccessfully, of course. And, one day, he came in to my session — exhaustive and unforgiving, these sessions — and he said to me, “Wow. Aimee, you are such a strong, powerful little girl, I think you’re going to break one of those bands. When you do break it, I’m going to give you a hundred bucks.”

    Now, of course, this was a simple ploy on Dr. P’s part to get me to do the exercises I didn’t want to do before the prospect of being the richest five year-old in the second floor ward, but what he effectively did for me was reshape an awful daily occurrence into a new and promising experience for me. And I have to wonder today, to what extent his vision, and his declaration of me as a strong and powerful little girl, shaped my own view of myself as an inherently strong, powerful and athletic person well into the future.

    This is an example of how adults in positions of power can ignite the power of a child. But, in the previous instances of those thesaurus entries, our language isn’t allowing us to evolve into the reality that we would all want, the possibility of an individual to see themselves as capable. Our language hasn’t caught up with the changes in our society, many of which have been brought about by technology. Certainly, from a medical standpoint, my legs, laser surgery for vision impairment, titanium knee and hip replacements for aging bodies that are allowing people to more fully engage with their abilities, and move beyond the limits that nature has imposed on them, not to mention social networking platforms, allow people to self-identify, to claim their own descriptions of themselves, so they can go align with global groups of their own choosing. So, perhaps technology is revealing more clearly to us now what has always been a truth, that everyone has something rare and powerful to offer our society, and that the human ability to adapt is our greatest asset.

    The human ability to adapt, it’s an interesting thing, because people have continually wanted to talk to me about overcoming adversity, and I’m going to make an admission. This phrase never sat right with me, and I always felt uneasy trying to answer people’s questions about it, and I think I’m starting to figure out why. Implicit in this phrase of overcoming adversity, is the idea that success, or happiness, is about emerging on the other side of a challenging experience unscathed or unmarked by the experience, as if my successes in life have come about from an ability to sidestep or circumnavigate the presumed pitfalls of a life with prosthetics, or what other people perceive as my disability. But, in fact, we are changed. We are marked, of course, by a challenge, whether physically, emotionally or both. And I am going to suggest that this is a good thing. Adversity isn’t an obstacle that we need to get around in order to resume living our life. It’s part of our life. And I tend to think of it like my shadow. Sometimes I see a lot of it, sometimes there’s very little, but it’s always with me. And, certainly, I’m not trying to diminish the impact, the weight, of a person’s struggle.

    There is adversity and challenge in life, and it’s all very real and relative to every single person, but the question isn’t whether or not you’re going to meet adversity, but how you’re going to meet it. So, our responsibility is not simply shielding those we care for from adversity, but preparing them to meet it well. And we do a disservice to our kids when we make them feel that they’re not equipped to adapt. There’s an important difference and distinction between the objective medical fact of my being an amputee and the subjective societal opinion of whether or not I’m disabled. And, truthfully, the only real and consistent disability I’ve had to confront is the world ever thinking that I could be described by those definitions.

    In our desire to protect those we care about by giving them the cold, hard truth about their medical prognosis, or, indeed, a prognosis on the expected quality of their life, we have to make sure that we don’t put the first brick in a wall that will actually disable someone. Perhaps the existing model of only looking at what is broken in you and how do we fix it, serves to be more disabling to the individual than the pathology itself.

    By not treating the wholeness of a person, by not acknowledging their potency, we are creating another ill on top of whatever natural struggle they might have. We are effectively grading someone’s worth to our community. So we need to see through the pathology and into the range of human capability. And, most importantly, there’s a partnership between those perceived deficiencies and our greatest creative ability. So it’s not about devaluing, or negating, these more trying times as something we want to avoid or sweep under the rug, but instead to find those opportunities wrapped in the adversity. So maybe the idea I want to put out there is, not so much overcoming adversity, as it is opening ourselves up to it, embracing it, grappling with it, to use a wrestling term, maybe even dancing with it. And, perhaps, if we see adversity as natural, consistent and useful, we’re less burdened by the presence of it.

    This year we celebrate 200th birthday of Charles Darwin, and it was 150 years ago, when writing about evolution, that Darwin illustrated, I think, a truth about the human character. To paraphrase, it’s not the strongest of the species that survives, nor is it the most intelligent that survives, it is the one that is most adaptable to change. Conflict is the genesis of creation. From Darwin’s work, amongst others, we can recognize that the human ability to survive and flourish is driven by the struggle of the human spirit through conflict into transformation. So, again, transformation, adaptation, is our greatest human skill. And, perhaps, until we’re tested, we don’t know what we’re made of. Maybe that’s what adversity gives us, a sense of self, a sense of our own power. So, we can give ourselves a gift. We can re-imagine adversity as something more than just tough times. Maybe we can see it as change. Adversity is just change that we haven’t adapted ourselves to yet.

    I think the greatest adversity that we’ve created for ourselves is this idea of normalcy. Now, who’s normal? There’s no normal. There’s common. There’s typical. There’s no normal. And would you want to meet that poor, beige person if they existed? (Laughter) I don’t think so. If we can change this paradigm from one of achieving normalcy to one of possibility, or potency, to be even a little bit more dangerous, we can release the power of so many more children, and invite them to engage their rare and valuable abilities with the community.

    Anthropologists tell us that the one thing we as humans have always required of our community members is to be of use, to be able to contribute. There’s evidence that Neanderthals, 60,000 years ago, carried their elderly and those with serious physical injury, and, perhaps, because the life experience of survival of these people proved of value to the community: they didn’t view these people as broken and useless; they were seen as rare and valuable.

    A few years ago, I was in a food market in the town where I grew up in that red zone in northeastern Pennsylvania, and I was standing over a bushel of tomatoes. It was summer time. I had shorts on. I hear this guy, his voice behind me say, “Well, if it isn’t Aimee Mullins.” And I turn around, and it’s this older man. I have no idea who he is.

    And I said, “I’m sorry, sir, have we met? I don’t remember meeting you.”

    He said, “Well, you wouldn’t remember meeting me. I mean, when we met I was delivering you from your mother’s womb.” (Laughter) Oh, that guy. And, but of course, actually, it did click.

    This man was Dr. Kean, a man I had only known about through my mother’s stories of that day, because, of course, typical fashion, I arrived late for my birthday by two weeks. An so, my mother’s prenatal physician had gone on vacation, so the man who delivered me was a complete stranger to my parents. And, because I was born without the fibula bone, and had feet turned in, and a few toes in this foot, and a few toes in that, he had to be the bearer, this stranger had to be the bearer of bad news.

    He said to me, “I had to give this prognosis to your parents that you would never walk, and you would never have the kind of mobility that other kids have or any kind of life of independence, and you’ve been making liar out of me ever since.” (Laughter) (Applause)

    The extraordinary thing is that he said he had saved newspaper clipping throughout my whole childhood, whether it was winning a second grade spelling bee, marching with the Girl Scouts, you know, the Halloween parade, winning my college scholarship, or any of my sports victories, and he was using it, and integrating it into teaching resident students, med students from Hahnemann medical school and Hershey medical school. And he called this part of the course the X Factor, the potential of the human will. No prognosis can account for how powerful this could be as a determinant in the quality of someone’s life. And Dr. Kean went on to tell me, he said, “In my experience, unless repeatedly told otherwise, and even if given a modicum of support, if left to their own devices, a child will achieve.”

    See, Dr. Kean made that shift in thinking. He understood that there’s a difference between the medical condition and what someone might do with it. And there’s been a shift in my thinking over time, in that, if you had asked me at 15 years old, if I would have traded prosthetics for flesh and bone legs, I wouldn’t have hesitated for a second. I aspired to that kind of normalcy back then. If you ask me today, I’m not so sure. And it’s because of the experiences I’ve had with them, not in spite of the experiences I’ve had with them. And, perhaps, this shift in me has happened because I’ve been exposed to more people who have opened doors for me than those who have put lids and cast shadows on me.

    See, all you really need is one person to show you the epiphany of your own power, and you’re off. If you can hand somebody the key to their own power, the human spirit is so receptive, if you can do that and open a door for someone at a crucial moment, you are educating them in the best sense. You’re teaching them to open doors for themselves. In fact, the exact meaning of the word educate comes from the root word “educe.” It means, to bring forth what is within, to bring out potential. So again, which potential do we want to bring out?

    There was a case study done in 1960’s Britain, when they were moving from grammar schools to comprehensive schools. It’s called the streaming trials. We call it tracking here in the States. It’s separating students from A, B, C, D and so on. And the A students get the tougher curriculum, the best teachers, etc. Well, they took, over a three month period, D level students, gave them A’s, told them they were A’s, told them they were bright. And at the end of this three month period, they were performing at A level.

    And, of course, the heartbreaking, flip side of this study, is that they took the A students and told them they were D’s. And that’s what happened at the end of that three month period. Those who were still around in school, besides the people who had dropped out. A crucial part of this case study was that the teachers were duped too. The teachers didn’t know a switch had been made. They were simply told these are the A students, these are the D students. And that’s how they went about teaching them and treating them.

    So, I think that the only true disability is a crushed spirit, a spirit that’s been crushed doesn’t have hope. It doesn’t see beauty. It no longer has our natural, childlike curiosity and our innate ability to imagine. If instead, we can bolster a human spirit to keep hope, to see beauty in themselves and others, to be curious and imaginative, then we are truly using our power well. When a spirit has those qualities, we are able to create new realities and new ways of being.

    I’d like to leave you with a poem by a fourteenth-century Persian poet named Hafiz that my friend, Jacques Dembois told me about. And the poem is called “The God Who Only Knows Four Words.” “Every child has known God, not the God of names, not the God of don’ts, but the God who only knows four words and keeps repeating them, saying, come dance with me” Come dance with me.

    Thank you. (Applause)

    Now, that is called spirit. The indomitable human spirit which took Aimee Mullins from a bedridden double amputee to a fashionable super(role)model. Get ready and display some of that courage on your own.

  • Multitask to Get Boring Things Done

    I hate writing school work for reasons you must have guessed (ya, who writes when we can type). But should I get through school, I must get through those too. So how do I scrape through?
    I multitask.

    For, this post is being written along with my assignments. I write one sentence here. I write one paragraph there. By the time I finish this post, I will finish 3-4 pages there.

    So, combine boring stuff with interesting stuff to get both stuff done.

    Why this works: Boring stuff are boring because they are usually repetitive tasks like copying, calculating, etc that require less or no active involvement. So, when we are doing such things our brain will be working less, and soon it starts sleeping.
    But when we mix interesting things with boring things, our brain gets an alternating current shock of rest and activity, keeping us awake.

  • Friends, Indians, countrymen, lend me your ears

    I come to concede Tharoor, not to praise him;
    The evil that ministers do lives after their term,
    The good is oft interred with their files,
    So let it be with Tharoor … The noble Modi
    Hath told you Tharoor was ambitious:
    If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
    And grievously hath Tharoor answered it …
    Here, under leave of Modi and the rest,
    (For Modi is an honourable man;
    So are they all; all honourable men)
    Come I to speak in Tharoor’s farewell …
    He was my hero, faithful and just to me:
    But Modi says he was ambitious;
    And Modi is an honourable man….
    He hath brought many traders home to India,
    Whose exchange did the general coffers fill:
    Did this in Tharoor seem ambitious?
    When that the poor have cried, Tharoor hath wept:
    Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
    Yet Modi says he was ambitious;
    And Modi is an honourable man.
    I speak not to disprove what Modi spoke,
    But here I am to speak what I do know.
    You all did vote for him once, not without cause:
    What cause withholds you then to mourn for him?
    O judgement! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
    And men have lost their reason…. Bear with me;
    My heart is in the smartphone there with the MoS,
    And I must pause till it come back to me twittering.

    Enough of the Victorian Shakespeare. And enough of our mentality running older than that. Why do we always have to think old? Why can’t we think in new patterns? Are our brains too concrete?
    Does using twitter make a minister alien? Or does a website make him Extra-Terrestrial. It is called technology. Technology that makes public life social and social life public. So did Obama. And so did Advani try to. But when Tharoor did it successfully people ask him to stop shooting mouth off.

    When Tharoor stayed in a 5-star hotel it was luxury. Had he stayed in Mumbai’s Taj Palace, it would have been patriotism.
    When he called the ‘cattle class’ the ‘cattle class’, people became cattle, thanks to the English pundits.
    When he said people should work on Gandhi Jayanthi, it became anti-national. Destroying a holiday of a billion Indians? Oh My Gandhi.
    When the terrorists came in rowing boats the government started asking the flight passengers a few more questions. When Tharoor questioned the logic behind this he was helping the terrorists blast peace off India.
    And then he’s reported to have questioned Chachaji’s and Bappuji’s foreign policy. He’s reported to have.
    And the Oxford Dictionary’s Pakistan edition is still undecided about the meaning of the word ‘interlocutor’.

    Throughout he’s called the man of controversies. Tharoor should be awarded some prize for this skill.
    Where other politicians find it very tough to attract controversy even while making controversial decisions, or accepting huge gifts, or spending too less for an ordinary minister; Tharoor seems to have acquired a knack of creating controversy with sentences less than 140 characters long. When Tharoor talks there is controversy, when he sneezes there is tsunami, and when he watches a cricket match there is extortion, profiteering, breach of trust, venality and corruption.
    We’ve got options. Change our attitude or cut the tongue and all those digits off Tharoor.

  • The Way Troubles Are Solved (Between People) And Friends Are Earned

    Don’t argue that I’m wrong, because I’m dead sure about this:
    All the fuss that people make, all the hassles, all the quarrels are because they do not talk.

    In other words, there is no trouble in human world that cannot be solved by talking.

    You disagree with X.

    1. You keep mum.
      • X thinks you are not interested in what X is saying
      • X just does not understand why you seem disinterested
      • X thinks you hate X
      • X gets angry at you
        1. X keeps mum about X thinking that you hate X
          • You think X is happy
          • But X is angry at you (and you don’t know this, for X hasn’t told you)
          • So when X doesn’t talk to you, you think X is not interested in you
          • So you get angry with X
            1. You keep mum with X about getting angry with X
              • and so on 
              • and so on

      Instead

    2. You tell X why you disagree.
      • X is intelligent enough to see whether you’re disagreeing for the right reason
      • If you got it wrong, X will correct you
      • If X had it wrong, you correct X
      • The problem solved.

    But when we disagree with someone we don’t tell them that we disagree, let alone where we disagree.
    Result: Trouble.
    Instead: Talk.
    Result: Happiness.

    You doubt Y.
    You think it is rude to say “Y, I doubt that you’re lying”
    So, you say “I trust you” and disbelieve.
    [so Y doesn’t get a chance to prove Y’s innocence] Y is a liar
    Now three weeks later this situation repeats. And you still keep mum about the disbelief. Y is a bigger liar
    And three more weeks later Y lies. (This is the first time Y really lies) But you think Y was lying all the time before and Y is surely (with proof) lying this time. Thus Y is a professional liar – assured.

    Instead if you said Y you disbelieve Y at the first instance, Y would have proved Y’s innocence.
    And the second time too.
    And the third time when Y really lied you will know that Y is just an occasional liar.

    But instead we keep mum. We think everybody around us are liars. We waste our lives living among ‘liars’ disbelieving everyone (whom you needn’t disbelieve)

    You had an angry dual with Z
    You had a really nasty day. You hit your colleague in the face. You disagreed with your boss. You shouted at your spouse.
    And you sleep (somehow) that night.
    And the next day you remain silent to Z. So also Z to you.
    Both of you think the fight is still on. The fight remains on.

    Instead you talk with Z about the previous day. May be you apologize (even if it’s not your fault). And Z recognize that you do not intend an intense situation. Z apologizes to you too. Both of you smile. Both of you happy.

    Or what if Z is not ready to be happy with you? Try reconciling Z the next day.
    And what if Z isn’t ready the next day too? Try a week later.
    Still not? Try a month later.
    Still not? Try an year later.
    Still? Stop trying. There is something wrong with Z.

    Result: You did everything you can to be happy. And you are happy.

    And whatever else be the situation.
    The above are three ways where talking saves relationships and friendships (and kills enmity)
    Not just these, every interpersonal problem can be solved talking.
    That is why human beings are given tongue and ears.
    But we seldom listen. And never talk.

    Stop being silent. Talk. Talk more. Talk, of course, with the friends you already have. Reaffirm the friendship. But also talk to those whom you rarely talk with. May be someone among them is waiting to be a great friend of yours.

    [Add to it that I gained a true friend day before yesterday. It could have come a lot lot earlier. But it didn’t because I failed to talk earlier. But it’s never too late]


    Have a Blissful Life
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  • Avoid Instant Wisdom

    This thought descends directly from the old saying “Think before you talk”.

    My little brother once threw a key towards me. He threw it a bit steep and I could not catch it. I immediately felt like telling him ‘You should have thrown it flat, so that it will cross me no matter how slow you throw’.
    But I thought for a moment. Another day had he thrown it flat, the key would have hurried past me, and I would then tell him ‘You should have thrown it steep, so that I will get the time to align with the flying key’

    And so I did not tell him anything.

    I realized that when I form ‘wisdom’ from instant experience, that instant wisdom goes useless more often that not.

    If you are older than someone else you live with, you must have had this moment in your life when they did some mistake and suddenly you jumped on them and told them that they did something extremely foolish, something which must have been avoided.

    But from now on, when you think someone just made a silly mistake; instead of reacting quickly with an instant wisdom “You must have done the opposite”; just think whether that mistake is a real mistake at all. Whether it could have been really avoided. Whether you are just giving out instant ‘wisdom’.

    And in case it was really foolish, tell them what could have been avoided.
    In case it wasn’t, just smile, and move on.

    Remember, think before you advise.

  • Error: Your Soul Needs to Be Upgraded

    The analogy is that our body is the hardware, and our mind or soul is the operating system.
    When you are exercising you are upgrading your hardware.
    When you are learning a new language you are installing a new software.

    But mind you, you are stuck with the same old operating system.
    You might be tweaking your soul with a lot of new software, but basically you are just that same old operating system with a lot of vulnerabilities, missing dlls, and accumulated junk files.
    You learn a lot of new things in life. You learn how to make friends, how to spring back from mistakes, failures, how to be infinitely happy and so on. But very soon you revert back to your old ways, you uninstall those software.

    When you try to ADD a quality to your life, you display that quality for some days, and then you become the same old person. Because YOU are that old person, YOU have not changed. Deep inside, you are thinking that you must go back, you must be you again.

    So, instead of adding new qualities, just change that basic YOU. Upgrade your operating system completely. Just redefine YOU. Let the quality be an integral component of you (a system service that cannot be uninstalled). And thus even if you become YOU again, you do not lose that new quality.

    With every new thing you learn, you must redefine who you are.

    Scenario 1:
    Once you were not going well with others. “I do not go well with others”
    And then one day you just decide you will start behaving well with people that day onwards. “I usually do not go well with others, but I will try to do well”
    And the next day you get angry with someone. “I knew I am an insensitive idiot who just cannot get on well with others”
    RESULT: Back to square one.

    Scenario 2:
    Once you were not going well with others. “I do not go well with others”
    And then one day you decide that you are someone who goes well with others. “Who told you I am bad, I do go well with others”
    And the next day you get angry with someone. “Well, I go well with others, but today is just not a good day”
    RESULT: Just a momentary glitch, nothing to worry.


    So, when you find some 2-3 new qualities that you could have in life, just bundle them together, and release them into your soul as a new OS update. Just be a new person, with those qualities inherent. Be a new you.

    And those qualities will never leave you.

  • How 6,692,030,277 People Live on this Earth

    I like to travel. Because whenever I go outside my home, I see people. The old man sitting right next to me in the bus, the man who is selling oranges, the woman waiting anxiously in the bus shelter, the kid talking to his friend, the youth resting his eye on every one coming his way, the sweeper, the policeman, the drunkard who asks the way to the policeman, the people who smile to the policeman when he answers the drunkard, and hundreds more, may be thousand.

    So, how does that make my life blissful?

    With every new person I see, I realize that everyone among those 6 billion+ people who are living on this earth has a life of their own.

    And then I think how egocentric our lives are. About how our lives revolve around our own existence only. About how selfish we are.

    Because every one of the people I meet, every one among them is doing something. Every one of them is going somewhere. Every one sleeps at night. Everyone lives.
    And so do I.

    I am just another one.

    That thought can bring us a lot of relief.
    To know that we are just another one among those billions.
    To know that our lives are as valuable and as worthless as the life of anyone else.

    And that brings us the ability to empathize. The ability to listen to what others have to say. The ability to feel for others, and be sincerely a part of their lives. The ability to regard their lives as a part of our own.
    It allows us to see the interconnectedness of the lives.
    It allows us to talk to the minds of others.
    It allows us to open up.
    It makes us human.

    We soon start to respect everyone, regardless of what their status in the society, what they are, or what they are doing. We start to love everyone. Everyone starts to love us.

    And when there is infinite love, there is infinite bliss.

    So, the next time you are in a bus, look outside. See a man, think of how he is struggling to move forward, think of where he will sleep that day, think of how many people will be waiting for him. Then think of yourself. Then see another person, think of how she is going on in life. Then see another, then another.

    And by the time you reach your destination, you will be feeling the love for others welling inside you.
    Just pour it out on your friends, enemies, everyone you meet.

    Start loving sincerely.

    Soon you will have a blissful life.

  • Brand Your Self through Personal Branding

    All those companies out there, they are brands. Google, Pepsi, Reliance, Nokia, Vodafone, Adidas, LG, Samsung, Hyundai…
    Think of any one of them, without their name.

    Think of Adidas selling their sports wears without their logo on it. How about a new Google service which does not begin with “Google”? Every one of those companies, and the others out there, have a brand.

    This branding does not come on its own. They need to advertise, they need to put logos on their products, they need to put in their product as theirs. And after all of this they grow as a reliable brand with customers worldwide.

    Not just that, when we hear of a brand name, all the values, all the ideas, all the causes that brand supports suddenly pops up into our mind. So, when we hear Google we will know it is about simplicity. Firefox – open source. LG – Making life good. Pepsi – Selling more (dil mange more :D).

    Now how do we apply that to human beings?

    Let us say a person X has a lot of qualities. X finishes the task assigned well in time, X meets all dead lines, X is punctual, X never wastes time, X loves working late.

    Now, if you were asked to give an urgent task, one that will become messy if postponed, would you not consider X automatically?

    Because you know X knows to manage time.
    Then we say X is a brand in a person. A brand which puts time up in their priority list.

    For becoming a brand you need to have a set of values, which you strictly adhere to.
    Could be Gandhian values (like me), Buddhist values, Islamic values, or for that matter the values of any religion, English values, American values, European values, Indian values.
    Or it could be hybrids.
    Or it could be a new set of values that you define on your own.

    But whatever be your values, you need to strictly adhere to it.
    If you say “you will always be happy”, you must always be smiling.
    If you say “impossible is not a word in my dictionary”, you must display that courage to do anything.
    If you say “I love sleeping”, you must have even tried polyphasic sleep.

    The idea is you must be predictable. If you say “I will be unpredictable”, you must be always (and predictably) unpredictable.

    And then people will know what to expect from you and what not to.
    That way when there is some thing that you can do well, they will know who can do it well.
    When an expert is needed in what you love to do, they will know whom to run to.
    And you will not have to explain the reason behind things you are doing. Because they know that it is your nature to do such things. You will no longer be misunderstood, because they know what you are meaning.
    Life becomes so much more easier.

    So, brand yourself.

  • How to Mess Up Life and Still Be Happy in the End

    Sometimes messing up life can be more delighting than going through the routine systematically.
    How?
    When you do something systematically:

    • You do it
    • You go home

    You talk with people, but you are not emotionally associating with people.

    When you mess up:

    • You try to do something
    • You mess up
    • You try your best to make amends for the mess you made
    • In that process you talk with a lot of people (or may be just one) most often through your heart

    Finally you end up emotionally a lot more closer with those people than you would have in the first case.

    Emotional intimacy converts into friendship or at least a deep sense of attachment.
    That is increased number of people ready to provide warmth to you.
    And in the end how happy you are depends a lot on how warm they keep you.

    So, if you do something as you should have; OK, go home, sleep well, be happy!

    But if you mess up?
    Make amends.
    Try all out to make amends.
    Do not leave anyone unhappy.
    Do not allow anyone to sleep that night with a grudge on you.

    Then go home. Sleep well.
    Next morning you will wake up a lot more happier.

    When you have no problem in life you will be happy; but when you have problems and you solve them, you end up happier.

    Mess up life.

  • Instant Mood Transformer

    Today evening I was thinking:  ‘Life is pointless, where am I leading to, what should I do next
    I was feeling enervated.
    I knew I was not in a good mood at all.
    I tried finding some motivational quotes in the world wide web. But all those awesome quotes suddenly felt like mere words for me.
    Windows media player was playing only the sad songs.
    Everything in the TV seemed to be worse than boring lectures
    I thought about reading some book, but I did not have the energy to stand up and walk to the book shelf.
    Everything let me down.
    I thought I would find some solace in my gmail inbox. I found a lone mail there from a friend. She had already forwarded it to everybody I knew. And archiving the mail showed me that familiar “No new mail!” slogan.
    I was depressed. I was angry at myself for being so. But I was unable to get out of the mood.

    And then it happened. I just walked out of my house. I was amidst all those plants and trees. They had this exceptional aura of calmness surrounding them. And the wind which filled my lungs to its maximum. Sure it was not one of the most colourful moments of my life, but no amount of colour would be able to make me happy in that mood too. But the serene nature suddenly turned me into that productive, creative, willing-to-go-for-it me. As though the energy flowed directly from the tress into me through the wind.

    And then I knew it.

    All those high tech gadgets, they are sure fun. But only when you are in the mood for fun.
    When you are depressed, down, what you need is some soothing.

    And there is only one thing that is instantly available for everyone which can provide that solace: mother nature.

    Take a stroll through the garden. Smell the leaves. Breathe the wind. Get in harmony with nature.
    And then you will once again feel it. The blood rushing in your body. Your brain resuming from its slumber. Sparks of creativity in your mind.
    And, you are back.

    Our eyes were meant to see curves, the branching trees and arching grass and the rabbit and the river. But what we see is rectangular blocks of text in a rectangular screen or sheet on a rectangular table inside in a rectangular room. See some curves.

    We are living. But what we live with are machines, inanimate and emotionless. Multimedia can fool the eyes, the ears. Junk food can fool the tongue. Ceramic tiles can fool the skin. Perfumes can fool the nose. But there is something inside everyone that senses life. And you cannot fool it for long. You’ve got to be near some life. Or soon the one inside you will die down.

    Whenever you feel depressed, breathe some fresh air in the garden.