Many days ago, in a discussion with some of my colleagues, I realized two things. I trust less on others (compared to how much I trust on me – even in things I have no clue about) and I rarely ask for help. It probably is also true that the latter is because of the former.
I had made a resolution that I would start asking people for help thereby building trust in the process of trusting others.
Life sent me a reminder in the form of a tweet.
A lawyer friend taught me how to network and cold email people. Another friend who is a financial consultant reads most of my emails before I hit ‘send’. Another friend taught me that your network grows by sharing.
— Umme H. Faisal (@stethospeaks) November 4, 2021
I had to do something. I did make a start this week.
DM me if you want to apprentice with me in the space between health, education, and technology.
You get to do some or all of
– writing
– grassroot organizing (internet based)
– video editing
– website building
– software building— Akshay S Dinesh (@asdofindia) November 7, 2021
Okay, maybe it doesn’t really count as “asking for help” because I’ve still framed it in a way where I am in control. Nevertheless, I believe it is a good start.
I got four people responding to that. I got on a phone call with three of them. One of them helped me finish a project that was pending for 9 months and I could also connect them to two other opportunities. Another person has very many shared interests and we’re looking at several academic collaborations.
One of the myths I had in my mind was that I am selfless and everyone else is selfish. That people won’t respond to my call for help – unless I can give them something of great monetary value.
There are many things wrong with those thoughts. One, people are inclined to help rather than reject requests for help. It’s in human nature to help others in need. Two, many people find many things other than money valuable.
Note to self: I should give the world a chance before judging the world.
Considering I know very little about the subject of using help to advance causes, I decided to get a bit more scientific about this. I did a YouTube search for “entrepreneurship”. The second video was this wonderful talk by a person named Ankur Warikoo.
The 3 rules of life Warikoo mentions are:
- Spend time with people who are nothing like you
- Don’t feel entitled at any moment of your life
- Don’t get comfortable
I understand all 3 of them. I think I’m good at #2. I’m trying to make a difference in #1. I suck at #3.
And that’s where “asking for help” comes in.
Asking for help is uncomfortable for me at the moment. It helps me break out of comfort zone, and it also increases my chances of finding new people with different stories and experience (“diversity” as RK Prasad puts it).
I went ahead and started listening to Warikoo’s podcast. He puts immense stress on “cold emails”. Connecting to people and asking for help is very powerful indeed, even if the person whom you’re asking help from does not know you. In one of the episodes titled “How May I Help You” he talks about how information, advice, and help are three different things. I highly recommend you listen to that episode.
It is a similar aspect of asking for help that Derek Sivers pointed out which makes it such a powerful instrument. When you ask for help, you are forced to think clearly. You put an effort into finding what exactly it is that you need. Sometimes, all you need is information and you’re able to find it on your own. At other times, the act of asking for help advances your thinking to a large extent. And often, you end up receiving help which is useful on its own too.
Help will always be given at Hogwarts on this planet to those who ask for it.
PS: I track the project opportunities that people can engage with in the opportunities gitlab repository. If you feel particularly kind, feel free to check out some of those ideas and offer help. (I know, this doesn’t count as asking for help)