Saturday, December 7, 2013

Men May Now Wear Veils

The law is clear.

IPC 354A
1) A man ... iv) making sexually coloured remarks, shall be guilty of the offence of sexual harassment.
3) Any man who commits the offence shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to one year, or with fine, or with both.
But it is not complete. What is a "sexually coloured remark"?
  • "You are looking gorgeous today" ?
  • "You look stunning in this dress" ?
  • "I would kill to be your husband" ?
If you follow this definition (which you're bound to by law), you cannot seduce a woman without sexually harassing her. If you can't seduce a woman, how can you ever dream of having sex with her? If you can't have sex with any woman, how can you satisfy your biological urges?

For resolving this Gordian knot, we shall take a cue from the Holy Quran.

  • 33:59 [edited for men] "Tell thy husbands and thy sons and the men of the law-fearing to draw their cloaks close round them."
  • 24:31 [edited for men] "And say to the law-fearing men that they cast down their looks and close their eyes to not look at women, and let them wear their head-coverings over their eyes, and not see anyone except their wives or their mothers, or the mothers of their wives, or their daughters, or the daughters of their wives, or their sisters, or their sisters' daughters, or their brothers' daughters, or their men, or those whom their right hands possess, or the female servants not having need (of men), or the children who have not attained knowledge of what should be hidden from men; and let them not strike their feet so that what they hide of their manliness may be known"
  • 33:55 [edited for men] "It shall be no crime in them as to their mothers, or their daughters, or their sisters, or their brothers’ daughters, or their sisters’ daughters, or their men, or the slaves which their right hands possess, if they speak to them unveiled"
We shall walk around wearing veils. Not looking at any woman, not giving our natural tendencies a chance to arouse our masculinity. We shall refrain from talking to women, from thinking of them as potential mates for courting, from having romantic pleasure. We shall abstain from sexuality.

And we shall castrate ourselves.

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