Blissful Life

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Notice: after planning it for years, I moved this blog out of blogger/blogspot (which google has abandoned long ago) to wordpress on a fine evening in Dec 2024. This notice will stay here to warn that things might be broken. Let me know if you find anything.

  • Proactive Change

    There are 3 kinds of people. Let’s call them versions 1, 2 and 3.

    Version 1: won’t change
    These are the people who hold on to their pasts. Once they are labeled something, based on something that they did or something that they told; they tend to retain that feature forever. Change is not a word even in their electronic dictionaries.
    The bug with this version is that people are never born great. Which means imperfections are engraved on marble for these kinds.

    Version 2: will change when proved wrong
    Upgrading to this version requires this version. It’s a catch-22. In other words, if you can change yourself, then you can change yourself into a person who can change themself. Let’s forget about the paradox for now. These people change when they are proved wrong. If they participate in a debate one of the following is essential: they win, or they switch sides.

    Version 3: proactively seek change
    This is the highest version one can reach. People of this kind change, and think of all the ways they can change, without the need for being proved wrong. They are like scientists – constantly redefining their theories, striving for perfection.
    And an upgrade to this version is rarely complete. Most often than not people behave like v3 only in some aspects of life and remain in v2 or even v1 in others. But the very nature of v3 is such that it seeks out which areas have failed to upgrade to v3, and upgrades those areas too.
    Thus, slowly, the person is readied to attain eternal greatness.

    How to upgrade
    The only glitch in the process is that upgrades aren’t automatic. It always takes a self initiated command. And you are the administrator of your machine.

  • Complaining about Rape

    All you idiots out there who want to castrate the guys who molested the girl in Guwahati, your anger is misdirected. It’s not their fault, it is not the girl’s fault, it’s your fault that your society has problems regarding sexuality. And that’s because you fail to talk about it. You consistently fail. And you make sure younger generations fail too. You can’t even talk about puberty to your son, forget about talking sexuality with your colleagues. You ain’t gonna get out of this mess till you begin to lose shame, inhibition. And you will certainly not grow up till you learn to admit that guys like breasts and girls like (oops, I don’t know what they like, because I’ve never got a chance to talk) whatever they like.
    And Indians fuck. All of them have sex. Because without that, you can’t explain how we maintain the population competing with China. After all, divya garbha is only in our fairy tales. And you all have a dick or a pussy (if you lost it in an accident, I’m not responsible, shut the fuck up). And all of you, thanks to evolution, has the desire to get laid. And there’s nothing to hide. So be it, be talking about sex.

  • Are your parents the best?

    I believe vehemently that our character, intelligence, everything depends on nurture, rather than nature.
    Whatever you do, however you respond in a given situation will have something or the other to do with what your parents/teachers/friends/books/culture/family/siblings/environment taught you at some point in your life.

    And then comes the question. Do you have the best parents? Did you learn in the best school? Did you grow up in the best neighborhood? Did you read all the best books? Where you nurtured in the best way possible?

    And, how will you explain your imperfections? Nurture.

    Realizing that what you’ve been taught as a child may not be the right/best thing to do in a situation helps you also realize the potential for growth.
    And that will lead you to sources – people/books/ideas/cultures/thoughts that will make you grow.
    And then, you become perfect.

    “Where you come from does not determine where you can go”

  • What do you perceive as reality?

    Just saw Shutter Island, and I should tell you it's the most amazing take on memories and how they define reality and what neuropsychiatry is all about and omg, what not!

    SPOILER WARNING: If you've not seen the movie, and are planning to, then don't read ahead.

    So, here's where it all matches what ideas I've been having about how the mind works.

    Recap: There are only memories. Procedural, declarative, everything. And then, a stimulus appears. It rains, or someone talks, or you fall, or a lion appears behind you. And then, the impulse, the message travels from your sense organ to the brain; it's sorted out and sent to whichever memory/neuron it corresponds to; (again sorted) from there to the procedural memory that it demands; and then to the respective effector organ, and finally you have a response.
    [I should tell that I've not yet learned about how this sorting out thing works. I'm assuming it does that, somehow]

    So, that's it. The basics.

    And then there's this experiment, the split-brain experiment, just google it: Someone has his corpus callosum, the main communication between left and right hemisphere, removed; and he's shown an image to his right eye, say that of ice, and he's shown too many other images to choose from, to associate this ice with, and he chooses a shovel (because you needa shovel the ice). And his left hemisphere is out of the story, it knows nothing about what just happened. And then, the guy is asked why he chose the shovel, while being shown a bird to his left eye. (Should tell you, it's the left hemisphere's Wernicke's area that controls all logic, reasons, etc in most people, sure you've heard that left is rationale and right is creativity). Here's a bird, and here's a question why choose shovel. And suddenly, the left side cooks up a story: "Because birds poop, and you need to clean up that"

    Now, that's where Shutter Island comes in. The hero, all he remembers, is from the beginning of the movie, he's in a ship, to shutter island, as a US Marshall. And that's his observation. Now, he's gotta cook up a story consistent with the observations. And he's clever enough to make a perfect one. And there you have! You're insane!

    If that didn't make it clear, lemme explain.
    Right now, you have all your memories, from your age 5 or 4 (or to be very precise, memories begin forming whenever your nervous system develops, right? Because you do remember the first words you were taught while still struggling on your back) or from the beginning, and then you have a consistent story about the reality out there.

    And that reality is based on all your memories. If all of a sudden you were to wake up with none of your memories from the last 2 years, what would you do? How would you feel? If you'd ever fainted for a while you might have experienced this. (Like I fainted, interestingly the first, and as of now the only, time I donated blood, and then I wake up, as people said, 10 seconds later, and all I see is people all around looking at me, and I don't remember what happened, and so instantly, in seconds I am thinking "I've just been in a road accident." And if I was lying down on the road with blood splashed all over my body, I'd just believe that forever. But gladly, I look around and then I remember I was donating blood and the people around, they fill the 10 second void in the memories, and ha! I'm back in my reality.

    What if it was not that easy?
    What if suddenly somewhere inside your brain, a stroke or something knocks out an year or a decade of your memories and nothing, nobody can explain to you or make you remember everything, everything that happened, to fill in that void?
    Suddely your brain, without even letting you* realize it, cooks up a story to fit in all that it remembers and sees. And there you go, you're in a mental asylum which's your home, the psychiatrist is your family friend, and the nurses are your sisters or daughters or servants, and the whole world is crazy!

    *Who's this you? Are your brain, your mind and you three different realities?

  • Attempting to Solve the Hard Probelm of Consciousness

    I remember asking one of my computer science friends a few months ago when he was coding a small game “When your program plays the game, does it actually know the rules, or does it just act as per your algorithms as to how to proceed at each imaginable point that comes up during the game? Is the program conscious of the game?”

    Now, I think, that question of mine was invalid.

    We go inside the mind of a human baby, an infant.
    It knows nothing – a blank slate. Very importantly, what we call consciousness, or the awareness of the self is absent. Somewhere along the line, it becomes conscious and begins thinking of itself.

    [I’m gonna be putting seemingly random thoughts throughout this post, just make sure each one of them are agreeable]

    How do we learn something?
    As small kids, we are shown or we see everything around us. Cats, people, stones, toys, moving things, immobile things, living things, non-living things, this, that, everything.
    Right from the delivery bed there’s a training process that begins. Mom points at a moving thing and says “DAD”. Then, “CAT”, “DOG”, “PEN”, and so on…
    There can’t possibly be any understanding as to what “dad” or “pen” means at that time. BUT, very importantly there are memories, or conditioned reflexes formed. [Remember Pavlov’s dog? After Pavlov repeatedly struck a bell before feeding a dog for a few times, just striking the bell brought about salivation].
    So, the next time you see the same pen or the same cat, you, as a baby, remembers to associate with the sound “CAT” or “PEN”
    That’s initial variable declaration kind of memory formation.

    Then, you learn categories, methods, activities, etc.
    This is a cat. This doesn’t move. This is not even 3D. This is just a “PICTURE” of a cat. Cats in pictures can’t move.

    Then you go school. Teachers tell you:
    Cat is an animal. Dog is an animal.
    Cat can change its position. Cat can move. Animals are those things that can move.
    And then, all your memories of cats, of movement, and of cats moving surfaces in your mind.
    Of dogs too.
    And then you learn what it takes to be an animal.

    I repeat. A baby knows nothing.
    How does it learn? By conditionally associating words that it hear with the visual (or tactile in a blind person) stimuli that is accompanying the sound always.
    Not just objects. Methods like motion, fall, rise, rolling, everything is associated to the words for it.

    I do mean LANGUAGE IS THE BASIS OF INTELLIGENCE

    Then there are categories. And there are inherited methods, inherited properties.

    A baby learns to categorize things. It learns that if a rat is an animal, it’ll move too. (Even this is taught. You’ve got to remind her “Idiot, it’s an animal. Animals move”)
    So, the baby now learns to identify, categorize, etc.

    Now, we move on to the hard problem of self awareness.
    It’s not really hard.
    The baby is taught about the existence of self.
    It’s taught that whichever part of the universe is under its direct control is called “self”.
    And there always is the unconsciously learned skills like moving own hands, feet, etc. which leads to an image of the body being formed in the brain (cerebellum).

    (I say, if we were to keep something contiguous with the body 24×7, 365 days for a non-leap year, it’d finally form a part of the body image.
    In fact when we grow up, and we start using mobile phones, we get addicted to it, then it becomes so repetitive that even the mobile handset forms a part of the body image. But this is usually prevented by the fact that we keep the sets down at times. But what I mean to say, is that if we were to associate, consciously as the mobile being an extension of our body, it’ll finally become a part of our self. Maybe this is true with prosthetic limbs and all. No, they will tell you it feels alien, but that’s because they have not tried to consciously associate with it, nor do they get sensory stimulus from the prosthetic)

    Thus, the baby begins to identify itself. (Even this is just an information stored in the neurons)

    Now, consciousness.
    The fact that there is something that’s observing my thoughts.

    I am thinking hard.

    It’s hard to solve.

    Emotions, etc can be explained with hormones, and the sense of well being. Like negative words are associated with bad memories, bad memories bring on the be wary mode, leading to release of be wary hormones, which would bring about a bad mood – negative emotion. Vice versa with positive emotions.

    But who is feeling this well being?
    That, is really hard to solve.

    And I go back to the question I asked my friend. He should have retorted with this question: “What do you mean by ‘conscious’ness?”

  • The Only Way to Win The Mind

    There is something special about a medical college hostel. You wake up in the middle of the night and walk through the corridor to the loo, whatever be the time, you’ll see one or the other guy awake, under the lamp with his textbook.

    Hard work might be the secret to success. But in medical college it is the only way to survive.

    Getting the first shot of it, I started preparing for the first year exam over a week ago.
    And it has led me to the following understandings.

    If you try to negotiate with mind, you’ll end up with a bad deal. The only way to win your mind, is to shut your mind up and do what you need to do.

    The way the mind tricks you can be very easily observed with self awareness.
    “I’ll check out the social network notifications just for a minute, and be back”
    “I’ll listen to just this song, and be back”
    “I’ll send just this sms and be back studying”

    All those are the deals mind throws at you. And if you accept just one?
    “Somebody has tagged me in a post, omg, he’s uploaded the party pics, lemme comment on each one of them”
    “That song was so good, feel like listening to another of the same artist. How about some chips too. Ah! Relaxed drowsiness”
    “Wow! I got the reply so soon? And lemme ask her about what she’s doing next weekend”

    The story is always the same. The presenting deal was fair. But, once you sign in, the terms and conditions are changed unilaterally.

    But fortunately, there’s a way to prevent losing to mind.
    And that is, to not accept any deal. Strict no!
    “You have a deal, go to hell with your deal”
    “I’m not using my phone, I’m not using my internet, I’m not listening at all!!”

    And then, mind will shut up.

  • Nobody is the King

    Had occasions when you wonder what you should do and what you should not?
    Ever felt out of the group in a party/dinner/function?
    Had to ask/listen to somebody’s lecture on friend/couple/family/stranger manners?

    Not any more.

    Wherever you go, whatever you do, there is only one rule you should know – “be comfortable”.

    And that refers just to you. You be comfortable. And do everything it takes for you to feel comfortable.

    People are always gonna tell you you should not have done this/that/itlikethat because they are confused what to do.

    You’ve got an identity, you hold onto that. Never ever feel the urge to be someone you’re not.

    Because trust me, you’re the king!

  • 2011: The Year of Conversions

    “2011 is the only year I studied both in a school and a college.” ~SMS forward

    January – Started studying seriously for entrance examinations. Carefree to careful.
    February – Turned 18. Minor to major.
    March – 12th standard board exam is over. End of English as a subject.
    June – All exams done. Time to commit to one very big life decision – college.
    July – Enjoy, wait eagerly for college.
    August – Join MBBS, marvel at the size of textbooks. +Start the challenge of living without a computer for an year.
    September – Make friends.
    October – Sleep.
    November – Loose sleep studying for internal exams.
    December – Rejoice at the failure. Learn from it. And start afresh. This time, it’s a happy new year!

    —

    I have some serious ideas about studying medicine subjects, especially anatomy. It’d be worth another post after I finish the experiments.

  • The Peace in being Immensely Busy

    To waste not a second, being busy like a bee, was always my dream. But in medical college it's the rule and not exception that you be busy, always.

    And I'm finding a strange feel of order and happiness in it.

    You wake up, do the record work for the day, preview the day's class, brush, rush through breakfast, ride to college, attend lectures till noon, rush back to hostel, have lunch, rest for 10 minutes, return to college for practical, go straight to library from there, come back half an hour before dinner, take a bath, wash, have dinner and chit chat, start reading till midnight, and sleep. Repeat this for every weekday with occasional inclusion of exercise. And on a holiday you pay back your sleep debt, go shopping, do NGO activity, call old friends, family, go around the town, and sleep tired.

    It's not hectic, but there's a continuity, a flow of activities from one to the other, with no time sucking in between. And this flow is addictive, albeit tough to achieve.

    And not to forget the mental stretch the textbooks give. It's one great balancing act that brings out your mettle. Medical college.

  • Why Hazare’s demands are hazardous

    Corruption – sucks.
    Lokpal – great idea.
    Making Lokpal equivalent to monarchy – insanely stupid in the long run.

    What we see at major cities is not support for the idea that Prime Minister and judiciary should be brought under Lokpal (for the agitated people don’t even know what they are agitated about)
    What we see is the stupid mistake every kid learning politics in 9th standard makes – comparing an ideal monarchy with a practical democracy.

    Yes, the Lokpal should be formed. But no, it should not be made omnipotent. Because that would be going backwards in history. From democracy to anarchy.

    The Lokpal will shake the constitution. So it should be brought in slowly so that the constitution doesn’t lose balance and topple over. And you can’t afford to postpone eating till the end, no matter how large your tummy is.

    Tail piece : People are guillible, especially college kids who hate going to college. But to pursuade those people to vote in favour requires intelligence, which the politicians have. And that’s why they think before they leap.