Blissful Life

Blog

Notice: after planning it for years, I moved this blog out of blogger/blogspot (which google has abandoned long ago) to wordpress on a fine evening in Dec 2024. This notice will stay here to warn that things might be broken. Let me know if you find anything.

  • Mantras, Positive Self Talks: Motivation at Your Tongue Tip

    We’ve all had it. Moments of slump, when the whole world seems to be crash landing on you. May be on the eve of an examination. May be while preparing for a very important meeting. Times when you feel let down.

    Everyone has those moments of desperation.
    And a lot of losers give up at these moments of weakness.

    But winners react differently.
    They close their eyes, or look straight into them in a mirror.

    And they talk directly to themselves:

    “I am a winner. I have a dream. I have a vision. And I do everything I can to be there. I am happy. And I am strong. I am invincible. I defeat all troubles that come my way. I finish first. I finish strong. I am a winner. I am a champion, to be precise. I rock. I am awesome.  I am the alpha and the omega. I am God!”

    They finish telling that (if they can wait till the end) and they are off to slay the trouble they had been facing. And then there won’t be anything on earth to stop them.

    Confidence is like a nuclear bomb. You set it off, and it gulps everything in sight.

    And the detonator is self talk. Tested. Proven.

  • A Small Guide to Critical Thinking

    Whatever you read, whatever you hear, whatever you think, ask yourself:

    Could the opposite be true?

    That’s all there is to critical thinking.

  • (Un)happy Women’s Day?

    What makes girls today wish they were born as boys?
    Why has every Women’s Day article I read today focused on the injustice towards women and not on their achievements?
    Why do they even have to build a site explaining women’s rights in Islam?
    Why did I think of founding the sisbro organization (a volunteer organization that helps unaccompanied sisters arriving at railway stations and bus stands to reach safety by sending them authorized brothers seeking nothing but sisterly affection in return for their care)? And why did I have to worry about it being a failure too?

    The answer – not soul stirring, not at all surprising, but the most ignored and the least sought out – is that we, as a people or a society, have not grown. How progressive can we expect an average member of a society described by the supreme court as having “low ethical levels and rampant commercialization” to be? We are immature. We are incomplete. We are illiterate. We still lack the mindset, the outlook, and even the vision of a constructive culture.

    And above all we are not ready to correct ourselves.
    Or to be more accurate, we are not brave enough.

    We are not brave enough to:

    1. think about different solutions
    2. question injustice
    3. publicly and outrightly reject commercialization (especially the exploitation of women’s sexuality, and men’s carnal desires)
    4. swim against the stream (the stream which’s been flowing only in one direction from the beginning of time)
    5. break taboos
    6. raise our voice
    7. stop ‘giving’ equal status to women
    8. let high school students of either gender sit together (I’m particularly adamant about this one. You believe they have their own different set of problems? I believe that’s been the problem behind all these problems. Girls and boys may have different bodies, but they do have the same minds. Their problems may be different in appearance, but they’re the one and the same. And there’s no compromise on this point)
    9. realize that giving birth is not the only work a woman can do efficiently (especially considering the growing population of India)
    10. ask ourself whether it’s easier to talk about sex and birth prevention or about rape and sexual abuse.
    11. start accepting what’s good in other cultures (especially the western culture. Ya. I know that’s gonna make earn me a tag of a pro-western idiot. But there’s no denying the fact that many of the problems that our gloated 10000 year old culture faces now, is not at all a menace in the west, because their culture by design eliminates the causes of these)
    12. stop editing and re-editing your comment under this post to conform to ‘moral standards’ and start changing the world
    13. go and get a life
      Most Indians have nothing to think about other than their boring work (which, we don’t realize is, not compulsory), and gossips. There are cooler things to do in life. (And when your mind is stretched by a new idea it never regains its original dimensions)

    Happy Women’s Day, then.

      PS: As I say that, I see another steamy song on the tv in which the fingers of the hero grazes over the bare skin of that sleeveless, and probably shameless new actress, and I (even I d:) can’t control the animal instincts hard coded into my brain.

    1. Mr Ravi Shankar, I’ll Contribute To Your Program, After You Do This

      This is with reference to the claims by the 8-10 middle aged women who wanted a contribution from me towards the ‘Aanandotsavam’ program to be held by Shri (another Shri?) Ravi Shankar at Kannur on February 15th, 2011.

      (Since the whole Art of Living foundation claims to enlighten people and make them grow internally, which is exactly what I try to do with this blog, you can of course consider this article just as one grown out of jealousy. Or you can THINK)

      I WILL contribute towards the program, provided you agree to comply with the following requests.

      1. Agree that any breathing exercise can improve concentration up to an extent. And when this happens human mind is drawn away from worries into the breathing pattern. And so, tasks which are done without those worries get done much more efficiently.
        And that whatever breathing you teach (with copyright) is not drastically different from this modus operandi.

      2. Agree that since you have got a copyright for Sudarshana Kriya (or whatever) only to prevent commercialization by others, you will allow organizations or people who are ready to teach this free of cost, to do so, without any copyright concerns coming in the way.
      3. Agree to make your income/expenditure balance sheets public and transparent and easy to access (and clear so that my friends in the commerce section will not find it difficult to calculate)
      4. Agree that the spiritual knowledge (that those women said brings mental calm) can be achieved not only through your course (paying heftily) but also from a local library and/or a local guru (because there are so many of them, and they can’t be all frauds; if that’s the case you’d be the only one who’s genuine) at whatever concession fee they offer.
      5. Agree that spirituality sells, like sex do.
      6. Agree that whatever is said in the following sites against you are wrong, baseless and not to be trusted (if possible, with proof):

      If you agree with all of these. And still live to see me, I will surely give you the contribution. But don’t expect more than Rs. 100. That’s all I have in my purse, because Google Adsense isn’t paying anything. (And the reason why I still continue blogging is not the hope that I can make a living online, but that there are people who read what I write and I’m obliged to them)

      1. And then there were failures

        What do you do when you start failing to reach your goals? Set the goals low? No way.

        Set the preparation higher.

        And I’ve got to prepare.

      2. Re: Generation Y: where is it headed for?

        [This is an email response to this article, which I thought I should publish]

        Hi sir,

        I’m 17, in twelfth standard. My girlfriend – who’s not exactly my girlfriend because she’s always responded negatively to my “I love you”s – liked your article in The Hindu (Generation Y: where is it headed for?, Nov 13, 2010) . That’s why I read it.

        AND YOU’RE BANG ON ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID

        If growing up consisted of mental, physical, emotional and spiritual growth; growing up has accelerated, but not all the aspects of it. There’s sudden physical growth from the steroid injected chicken we eat everyday. And mental growth, thanks to the immense curriculum. The television and the loads of cheap fiction that’s available has seemed to have incorporated all kinds of intense emotions into our everyday lives. And unfortunately only 2 magazines among the hundreds of magazines and weeklies I know has ever published an article about “Emotional Intelligence”. Let alone spirituality; which’s being looked upon as a post-retirement occupation.

        I’m a biology student and can’t go without speaking some science.

        Mirror-neurons: I see someone doing something, my mirror neurons have already done that a thousand times in my brain. And what if I’m seeing (or more vividly, reading) all kinds of emotional moments (ranging from love through sex to violence) ? They’re rewiring our mental make-up. Making us want to experiment.

        We’ve all always remained curious, about everything. Right from birth we looked at others to learn. We assimilated knowledge by looking around.
        Personally, I was from my very early childhood exposed to the right things at the right times. I read children’s magazines till 6. Then science magazines for children. I saw Disney’s Mickey Mouse cartoons. My dad (who’s a doctor) used to take me for morning walks and tell me stories. He set up my morals and values. And he also introduced me to spirituality. And by the time I was 13 I had been influenced a big lot by Mahatma Gandhi.
        In fact, my early childhood set the stage for me to grow up on my own.
        And now I believe I’m strong enough to lead a successful life.

        But I was very fortunate.

        I don’t know into what little monsters will children who are exposed to nothing but rubbish from their infancy evolve into by the time they’re 10, or 20.
        Yeah, you know. That’s what you wrote in your article.

        The media have gone awry. There’s no way we can disinfect them.

        But there’s one seemingly simple, but practically doubtable solution: good-parenting.
        Parents can always decide what we’re exposed to (even in the internet). They can influence our values. They can mold our personalities before anyone even begins to notice us. They can let us prepare for life without getting injured.

        Answer: Parental supervision is critical.

        And when parents fail, children magnify.

        (For good parents we need good grand parents, and so on. This cannot happen. So, we should somehow make our parents good. Education can help. So can media. But media isn’t helping, except for some lonely Aakash Mehrotra’s. And education isn’t proper. So we need some intelligent people to re-evaluate the goals of our school boards and media. But nobody is motivated enough. The government, the least. People who vote, even lesser. We need a Messiah. And ironically, it has to come from Generation Y)

        —
        Have a blissful life,
        ASD

      3. The Strength of Truth

        Answer all questions honestly in the next 24 hours.
        And see if that brings any change in your life.

        Gandhiji was not superhuman. Then how did he lead India to independence?
        Because he used a weapon which was unbeatable.

        And we all have that weapon.

        Only that we have not tried to use it.

      4. Talking About Sex

        I was first taught about sex neither by my parents nor by my teachers.
        The first time I really learned how babies are made was when I saw a porn movie when I was 14. Yeah, even before the advent of Internet.

        And till today my parents haven’t talked to me directly about sex either. (Though my dad has mentioned several times that it can be an addiction) And mind you, next year I’m 18.

        I have had the chance to learn in two schools. But still, none of the 50 or more teachers who’ve taught me have ever talked about sex. Not even my biology teacher.
        Of course the lesson “Reproduction in Human Beings” was much anticipated. But it went away like over-hyped bollywood movies do, without an active discussion. (There were muffled laughs from the corners to welcome a hypocritical lecture)

        And even my beloved English teachers who talk about everything on this earth have invariably failed me. Somehow I gathered the courage to tell my teacher that we watched porn (in a relevant context) but she just responded “that’s bad” in a surprised manner and walked away. She talked about drugs the next minute. But she wouldn’t talk about this drug. I mean, if she had a point, she’d rather make it clear.

        By that afternoon the news spread and I was receiving mixed responses from my schoolmates – applauses and questioning looks. As if I had done something. Heroic or great. Obscene or indecent.
        Whereas I was standing amongst them, confused. Wondering as to what was so special about the topic I put in. Nobody asked me anything when I told my English teacher about the way I play football, or the way I love my father.

        What are these adults shying away from?
        Parents and teachers.

        Should generation gap be a problem?
        Well, it is not. Because though friends talk a bit about sex, they don’t actually ‘openly’ talk.
        The little that friends know about each others’ problems is the little that comes after multi-filtering through cultural sieves.
        SEX???!!! Taboo.

        You don’t have to worry about me. You don’t have to worry about those teens who luckily fall into good company. But there are others who aren’t so lucky. They do not get a chance to know anything until they are in a situation where knowing does not matter.

        It so happens in the seemingly open but stringently closed society that we are born into.

        Maybe you are thinking that your not talking about it makes us less curious.
        You are of course wrong.
        Not knowing only adds to the curiosity.
        And curiosity kills the cat.

        Talking about sex only reduces the risks.
        It is not talking that multiplies the risk.

        But there is no talking. There is only flinching.
        The 3 letter word is never used. (Though the 4 letter word is always used)

        Adolescence Education Programs were promised.
        Well, we never thought any would ever be delivered.
        For, who’s to deliver it other than you?

        Maybe you could answer. What is so special about sex that makes it a topic worth not discussing?

        If you’re gonna tell me that our culture prohibits us from talking about sex, tell that to the 1 million HIV/AIDS patients in the age group 15-29 from India. And mind you, that data is three years old.

        And till you find me a solid reason not to talk about sex, I will keep on using the word loudly and in public.

        –
        A virgin.

      5. Think Before You Forward: MP Salary in India (Myth Busted)

        There’s been a very clever e-mail running around in Indian inboxes for many years. It cleverly exploits multiplication into making people think that MPs are a huge waste of national resources. The mail first is this:

        Govt. Concessions for a Member of Parliament (MP)
        Monthly Salary : 12,000
        Expense for Constitution per month : 10,000
        Office expenditure per month : 14,000
        Traveling concession (Rs. 8 per km) : 48,000
        (eg.For a visit from kerala to Delhi & return: 6000 km)
        Daily DATA during parliament meets : 500/day
        Charge for 1 class (A/C) in train: Free (For any number of times)
        (All over India )
        Charge for Business Class in flights : Free for 40 trips / year (With wife or P.A .)
        Rent for MP hostel at Delhi : Free
        Electricity costs at home : Free up to 50,000 units
        Local phone call charge : Free up to 1 ,70,000 calls.
        TOTAL expense for a MP [having no qualification] per year : 32,00,000 [ i.e. 2.66 lakh/month]
        TOTAL expense for 5 years : 1,60,00,000
        For 534 MPs, the expense for 5 years :
        8,54,40,00,000 (nearly 855 crores)
        AND THE PRIME MINISTER IS ASKING THE HIGHLY QUALIFIED, OUT PERFORMING CEOs TO CUT DOWN THEIR SALARIES…..
        This is how all our tax money is been swallowed and price hike on our regular commodities……. 

        and then it goes on giving a number of pictures of poor people in India and telling 855 crores could do great for them.

        The Myth:
        There’s more than 1 problem in this claim.

        Firstly, the calculation of monthly salary is done by adding the real salary + the concessions the MPs receive for their travels or communication (which they of course must do)

        The first 3 lines are quite sound.
        Monthly salary, expense of constitution, office expenditure which adds up to 36,000 (the real salary)
        The daily salary of 500 for parliament days can also be considered in this.
        That’s an added 15,000 per month taking the toll to 51,000 (though the parliament doesn’t happen in every day of every month)

        They then add 48,000 to it in the name of traveling concession (6000 km to Delhi @ Rs 8/km)
        Quite agreeable. (Though I could still argue about the need for an MP to go to the capital city. Why do we need MPs at parliaments? Can’t they sit at home?)

        I add that too and get 99,000. Just under 100 k.

        But the mail claims the salary to be 266 k by considering the other concessions the MPs receive.
        I don’t know how they add, but the concession for first class train fare any number of times, business class plane fare 40 times, free calls, free electricity, and even the rent for MPs hostel at Delhi are all added to the equation.
        What is the mail trying to do? The real expenditure is just 100 k. It’s made to go to 266 k. And that too by adding pseudo expenditures.
        Note that the free calls, free electricity units, etc need not be consumed totally. (Of course they would be used up only if the MPs really work for the country)
        And why the bloody hell is the MP hostel if not for the MPs to reside free of cost?

        And in between the mail just claimed that the MPs have “no qualification” upon which I do not wish to comment at all.

        The train & the plane fairs are the only things that could be told as wasteful because the MPs are already being given Rs 8 per km for travel.
        And I don’t know how they add up to 266 k per month.

        But assume that this is really true. That we spend 266,000 per month for an MP.

        So, how much is that? How much money do you need to live per month?
        50,000? No?
        25,000? even lower?
        meager 10,000?
        So, an MP “spends” 26.6 times an average Indian.
        Considering that there are only 550 MPs for a population of a billion, I can without any hard feelings allow them to spend that.
        And that too including all those ludicrous “costs” of rent at MP hostel, free calls, etc.

        Now the most interesting calculations.
        Imagine you earn 25,000 per month.
        That’s 300,000 per annum.
        Now take 500 people like you.
        All of you collectively earn  150,000,000 per annum.
        And in 5 years you people earn 75 crores!!! (Not so surprised?)
        75 crores would also have been enough for all those poor. So you should be thrown out of the country.

        Just know that multiplying monthly salary by time and number of people increases it multi-multi fold.

        And to the emotion that made this forward a success, the joy that you receive when you criticize politicians and politics.
        It shows only your ignorance in hosting these kinds of stupid ideas.
        Politics has of course been corrupted, but only as much as anything else has been.
        And our constitution still shines as a beacon of knowledge and justice above everything.
        And if you are so good in managing the country, why don’t you show what you can do?

        If politicians are still corrupt it’s only because the voters are still fools.

        The best argument against democracy has been and will always be a five minute conversation with the average voter.

      6. I Do Not Deserve the Right To Wish You a Happy Independence Day

        I won’t wish you a happy Independence Day this year.
        Not just this year. Henceforth.
        Because unless I begin doing something for my country, I simply do not deserve to wish you.
        I was notified of this day coming. By the facebook event which asked me to show my love for my country by setting up India’s flag in my profile.
        Is this how I should show my love for my country?
        I was sure I wouldn’t be attending the event. I said myself if at all I uploaded anything to facebook it would be photos of how I served my country this I’day.
        But till this moment, I have not did anything worthy to be uploaded under that tag.

        I’m disappointed at myself.
        I’m disappointed at not being able to do anything for my country.
        Sure, I have dreams.
        But I live only in dreams.
        I have written dozens of essays on the role of students in improving literacy (the last one, today morning).
        But I haven’t taught a word to anyone. When will I? How long will I be a student, to do that?
        Not that I didn’t have a chance. There was a woman who sold helmets by the National Highway. Just opposite my house. And she had two children. One girl about 10 years, and her younger brother, my brother’s age. I knew neither of them went to school. I knew they deserved school as good as my brother and I. Yet I simply walked past them for weeks. Many a times had my hands reached for the paper and pen in my pocket to teach that little boy something. I even planned giving them an apple and teaching them the letter ‘A’.

        But I never did these.

        And I’m angry about that. There is no point in crying now. Because they’ve had enough sales here. They’ve gone.

        I could have taught that little boy and little girl something. Anything. Anything would have been valuable for their lives.
        But I didn’t.
        What do I lack?
        I dream so much about changing India. About empowering lives. If I can’t teach a boy of 6 ABCD, how am I going to change India?

        I speak so passionately about how dirty politics is. About how we shouldn’t vote on the basis of religion, race, caste. But who am I to say that?

        I don’t even deserve to be a citizen of a country where people like Nani Palkhivala lived and died for protecting the rights of the people. And I don’t wish to be one in a country where his name or the names of the thousands of others like him are not even heard.

        I’m such a parasite.

        Sure I have published a few posts in this unread blog about changing India. And some essays in school competitions that not even the judges care to read. What do I hope to happen? That all of a sudden all the Indians will get motivated and change themselves reading what I’ve written?
        And who is to change India? My readers?
        I ask everyone to change.
        But I never did.
        And I now realize my mistake.

        But I knew my mistakes even before. Just that I won’t rectify. I won’t change. I will continue to be a dreamer. I will get into a nice profession, fill my purse, and eat unhealthy till I die. I will never feed the hungry. I will never enlighten souls.
        I will never bring about the change I always speak so high about.
        Because I’m such a loser.

        What is the point in fighting hunger through facebook? What’s the point in feeding children through clicks? What’s the point in filling truckloads of paper with essays about changing India, taking her to the heights of development, etc?
        What’s the point in blabbering about good leadership when you can’t be a leader yourself?
        What’s the point in thinking about action?
        Action is physical. Not mental.

        Do I deserve to wish you a happy Independence Day? No. I don’t.
        Because I don’t act.
        I can’t even promise you that I will change myself. For, if I could I would have done something for my country already. I can only tell you that I will try.

        And for that reason I do not deserve to ask you to do something either.
        And I do not possess the right to express myself. I must shut up. Now.